Twins for the Win
by OurMoustachio
Summary: What if a pair of Siamese Twins were reaped into the Hunger Games? This is a really stupid story.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to this fic, although we don't know why you even clicked the link.**

 **Note: This is not meant to be offensive in any way to siamese twins. If u spot something rude please inform us so we may change it.**

 **WARNING: this fic contains a lot of idiocity.**

* * *

Twas the 81st Hunger Games reaping (for it turned out that Katniss and gang actually suck at rebellions and Snow was actually alive and it was his twin who died instead so the Hunger Games were still going).

Boris looked at the factory and wished she were inside it, instead of out here in the reaping. No one liked working, but the reaping was worse.

"This sucks," she said to her twin sister, Moris, who stood next to her. "I wish they would hurry up. I'm so nervous.."

The Escort, who had a really long name that no one could remember, tapped on the microphone.

"Welcum lads and lasses." He said with an indecipherable accent. "Time fer the reaping."

Moris rolled her eyes at Boris, eager to get the reaping over with. Besides, no one could stand Mr Escort's voice. It was just so… chirpy.

"Lasses first!" The escort pranced over to the female's bowl and plucked one paper out.

"It should be fine, our names are only in there 4 times each." Moris whispered.

The escort opened the dreaded paper and leant into the microphone.

"Boris Turner," Everyone's heads turned to the twin.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Moris Turner raged. "HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO GO INTO THE GAMES? WE'RE SIAMESE TWINS!"

Boris and Morris glared at everyone who looked at their bodies that were joined by their entire side from the shoulders downwards, with the former on the right and Moris on the left. Because of this, they had a third leg which they both shared and only one arm each.

The Peacekeepers came forward and pushed them forward towards the stage. With a little difficulty, they climbed it and stood silently next to the escort.

"And now for the lads!"

The escort beamed at the twins and then picked out a male paper.

"Lim Youngwood! "

Boris looked over at the boys section and watched as a 14 year old scrawny boy with strawberry blonde hair looked at the stage in bewilderment.

"What?!" He yelled angrily. he shook his head. "No. I'm not doing it."

Several Peacekeepers strode towards him and grabbed his arms. He struggled relentlessly as they dragged him up onto the stage.

"They already have two people. You don't need to reap me anymore!"

He attempted to kick the Peacekeeper where the sun don't shine, but they hit him over the head with a baguette and promptly handcuffed him to the stage.

"Why do you even have that bread?" Lim asked angrily.

The peacekeeper got to his knees and started to sing, "That's how cartoon bread's draaaaawn."

"... I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Lim then screamed as he struggled. "They count as two people! They count as two!"

One Peacekeeper produced a syringe from somewhere on his person and plunged it into Lim's neck. Immediately, he calmed and his struggles became weaker and weaker.

"Rude," he managed to gasp, before whispering to himself. "They count as two people. They count as two. TWO people."

A peacekeeper rammed the but of his gun into Lim's stomach, and he became silent.

"Anyway…" the escort smiled at the crowd. "Looks like this year will be interesting!" He waved at the cameras. "This iz Persuliosianio comink to you from district 9!"

Then the cameras cut and they were taken to the Hall of Justice. It was visiting time, and the twins' maid stopped by to receive her final paycheck.

By that point, Moris had started tearing up. "I don't want to go. It's not fair. YOU were picked, not me!"

"Shhh child, it's okay," The maid said. "Now, where's my money?"

"It's in the house," Boris said glumly.

"IS ANYONE EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" Moris yelled right into her sister's ear.

"...right in the drawer." Boris said before turning to Moris. "What was that?"

Moris sighed. "Nothing, deaf dimwit."

Next to visit was the family cat. "Meow." He said.

The twins smiled at him ruefully. "You will remember to take baths, right Mr Cat?"

The cat licked himself all over before replying. "I'm a cat, you idiots. I can't talk." He promptly left before some random peacekeeper came inside the room.

"Time's up, you must make your way to the train _now_."

* * *

On the train, Persuliosian (Is that how it's spelt?), the escort, introduced them to their mentors.

"Meet Aleisha," he pointed to a woman in her mid twenties who simply blinked at the tributes. "And Pea." Pea was… well… unique. He was a man around his thirties who sported a monobrow.

"PLEASE teach us what we need to know! I don't want to die in the games, I shouldn't have been picked!" Lim pleaded.

The female mentor - Aleisha - simply blinked at him for a good minute.

"Yes, please help!" Boris agreed. However, Moris was more interested in other things...

"Look! Chocolate cakes! Gasp! Mahogany tables! Look! Look out the window!" She cried attempting to stand up despite her sister weighing them down. "The world is so big!"

"Speaking of windows," Lim said. He got up and threw open the window. Then he tried to climb out. Luckily - or unluckily in his case - Pea pulled him back inside before forcefully pushing him back onto a chair.

"Why did you do that!?" Lim screamed at Pea, who calmly replied.

"You know, once I had a pet rock, but I didn't have enough money to look after it so it died. Then I won the games and got a bunch of money, so now I can have as many pet rocks as I want."

Lim frowned. "How is this relevant?"

"Because if you win the games you can have anything you want."

"Riiiight."

"How did you even win the games?" Boris asked trying to make the convo relevant.

"Well, it's a long story…" Pea then proceeded to recount his entire games to the two (or three) tributes, who barely kept awake. It took several hours.

"...And so to summarise I just never got into my elevator and then after five days I finally got inside and quickly grabbed some food and by the time I had done anything, everyone else was dead."

The tributes stared at him. "So you are basically useless to us since you didn't even properly participate in the Games."

Pea contemplated this statement for a while before replying. "Yes."

Boris sighed.

"Yah well I won the Games when I was 12 by simply doing what they do in Minecraft: dig a hole and then cover it up until everyone's dead." said Aleisha before grabbing an apple from the nearby fruit platter.

"So you're advising us to just hide?" Lim asked anxiously. "Okay, that would work."

"But what about us?!" Moris whined. "We're siamese twins! And the Capitol can't surgically separate us; we both share the same heart!"

The mentors exchanged glances before blinking at her. "Yeah, you're probably gonna have a bit of trouble."

"Poooooooop, we're at the Capitol now." Lim said as he stared out the window. Boris and Moris stood up in sync to get a view of the city. However, it was suddenly replaced with darkness as the train entered a tunnel. After about a few minutes the vehicle slowed to a stop.

"Before we exit the train mates," Perusilo- whatever his name is - said. "I got something ta bark out."  
The group stared at him in anticipation. "Moris is a bloke's name."

"PLOT TWIST" Pea yelled.

"Shut up." Moris said, slightly embarrassed.

"In district 9, we like to shake things up a bit." Boris added, referring to the strange names.

Lim snorted into his hand. "Yeah, thats why none of the district 9 tributes ever make it past the bloodbath."

"No nid to vorry," Persulio said. "Zere is alvays a first."

"Yep," Lim muttered. "Always the first to DIE."

* * *

 **Post-Author's Note:**

 **Dun dun dun…**

 **Will we ever find out if the Siamese twins will win the games? Or what even is Perus- i give up - the Escort's accent? We only know the answer to one of these questions so… you should lyke, totes review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After settling into their temporary homes and participating in intense training sessions, the 25 tributes were now waiting to be called into a room so that the gamemakers could assess them and give them a score of 1-12. All three district 9 tributes were freaking out, especially due to the intimidating demeanours of the careers.

"What are we going to show them?!" Morris whispered urgently.

"I have no idea."

"Neither do I," Lim crossed his arms. "And if I did I wouldn't say it in front of you."

After a moment of silence Lim murmured to himself, "I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have been chosen…"

The twins simply rolled their eyes.

"Lim Youngwood."

Lim took a deep breath and stood up. Then he went into the other room.

"Ok, we need to plan," Morris said. Boris agreed, but they had a limited amount of skills they could show the gamemakers.

"What if we do stand up comedy?"

"That would never work!" Morris said harshly.

"Singing? Dancing? Clapping?!"

"NO! Be serious, our lives could depend on this."

Both of them thought for a few seconds. "If only we could throw something at the gamemakers." Boris said mournfully.

"That's so unoriginal! Plus, there are forcefield barrier things."

"Well, I don't see you coming up with anything."

"Ok, fine," Morris bit her nails. "Um, how about we just go in there and try to use the equipment?"

Boris was about to remark how horrible of an idea this was, when they were called up.

"Boris Turner." the voice said, then hurriedly added "And Morris."

The twins entered the room. It was big, bigger than they thought it would be, and the gamemakers watched them from behind a forcefield barrier.

"What do we do?!" Boris whispered.

"I know! Let's run." Morris said. "We're fast."

Before Boris could respond, Morris took off at a sprint and she had to follow since they were connected.

"Right, left, right, left!" They yelled.

They ran laps around the room, and on the way Morris picked up a knife and stuck it into a dummy but she had little strength and the knife simply clattered onto the ground.

"Ok, new plan," She puffed. "Let's do parkour."

Boris was surprised because although they had seen parkour being done before, they had not actually ever attempted it themselves.

They took a running leap at a wall and kicked off it, before doing a roll and then sliding under a piece of equipment. Unfortunately, they snagged the equipment and the whole thing came crashing down.

"Oops…"

In frustration, Boris grabbed a sword that had fallen and plunged it into a dummy. The dummy fell over in pain.

"Wait, what?"

Apparently, it wasn't a dummy. It was a peacekeeper. Whoops…

That concluded their little session, and they promptly left.

That night, Boris, Morris, Lim, Pea, Aleisha and Persuliosianio (yay we remembered his name!) gathered around to watch the news. The tributes waited anxiously for their scores. So far, all the careers had gotten a score of either 9 or 10.

"From district 7, we have Ian Albright with a score of…" Caesar left the audience hanging for a second. "...12!"

Everyone in the room gasped and Persuliosianio fell off his chair.

"WHAT?! HOW?!" Lim screeched.

Caesar frowned at the paper in his hand. "Oh, wait, it says minus 12. My bad!"

They sighed in relief.

"This tribute stood and blinked the entire time. What happened, district 7?"

"Watch out for him." Aleisha advised.

"What? Why? All he did was blink" Lim said.

"Well, that's what I did and I won my games. So watch out."

Lim shook his head the useless mentor and turned back to the TV.

"Ooh what's this? It appears the female tribute from District 7 gained a score of… 8.5! By hiding inside the gamemakers roast pig they were about to feast on, waiting until they were cutting it open and then waving at them! Uh.. okay then. Very good hiding on her part."

Lim was looking extremely proud of himself, and Boris wondered what he had shown the gamemakers. However, she felt a little uncomfortable asking him because he was always so unfriendly.

The tributes from district 8 got a 5 and a 4, and then it was time for district 9.

"Lim Youngwood from district 9, received a 9."

Boris looked at Lim in bewilderment. A nine?! What on earth did he do to get that?

Personiumio slapped Lim on the back. "Well done, lad."

Pea gave him a thumbs up and Aleisha gave him a blink.

"What did you do?" Morris demanded.

Lim flashed a grin. "Secret."

Caesar continued. "And the twins from district 9, Boris and Morris Turner, received…" There was a long stretch of silence. "...A combined score of 7."

"A combined score of seven?!" Morris exclaimed."Deh?"

Aleisha and Pea looked at the twins in concern.

" what did you guys do…?"

Morris cleared her throat. "Parkour, running."

"And we may or may not have killed a peacekeeper." Boris added hesitantly.

Lim burst out laughing hysterically, since they hit him at the reaping, before quickly composing himself. "Ahem, sorry."

Pea frowned. "What were you trying to accomplish? Make an impression? Well done. Now all the game makers are gonna remember you guys as the twins who can't tell a dummy apart from a human."

"It was an accident!" Boris cried. "Peacekeepers, dummies, they're all the same."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Lim remarked.

"Ayo. In all seriousness," the escort said. "Everyone view on district 9 is shamed, ya."

"But I still got a better score than them." Lim boasted.

"Will you shut up about your score!" Morris yelled. "It was only one higher than our score."

"Calm down."

"Only if you tell us what you did in there." The twin folded her arms.

Lim sighed. "Ok, ok. I got a knife and pretended to stab myself. They all thought I was dead so the peacekeepers rushed in. They tried to find my pulse but I didn't have any, and so they tried to take me to hospital but that was when I woke up and they realised it was a prank. So that's how I got my score of 8!"

"..."

"..."

"…"

"So you basically pretended you died.?" Pea clarified.

"Yes…"

Pea uproariously laughed. "That is the smartest thing-"

"The dumbest thing you could've done!" Boris exclaimed. "What are you gonna do in the games, pretend to be dead and just lie there?!"

"Well, I'm not the one who got a _combined_ score of seven." Lim huffed. "I wonder which one of you got a better score. Maybe Morris got 4 and Boris only got a 3? Or maybe it was the other way round. And besides, I wasn't even supposed to be here!"

Lim then stormed out of the room and slammed his door shut.

"How rude!" Persuliosianio muttered.

Pea sighed. "I'll get him when it's time for dinner."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The twins still couldn't believe how amazing the food was in comparison to District 9's grub. It was so rich and filling and absolutely delicious, but while the twins stuffed down as much as they could, Lim picked at his food glumly.

"It shouldn't have been me." He sulked.

"Oh shut up." Practically everyone at the table said. They all lapsed back into silence.

"Your stylists will be here to see you soon." Perus… Preslueth… Perlio - I give up - the escort said cheerily.

Soon the stylists did arrive, and the tributes were prepared for the interviews with Caesar Flickerman.

"Hey I'm Flora and that's Kylie," the woman named Flora said. She was quite short and had a very big parting right in the middle of her head. Kylie on the other hand had wild hair and... plastic bags around her feet…?

"Um, why are you wearing that?" Boris asked Kylie.  
"It's abstract fashion, gosh." Kylie rudely remarked.

"We are your stylists today," Flora announced while Lim muttered a 'We're toast'. "And we were thinking that we should make your dresses related to your district. Now, can someone tell me what your district produces?"

The tributes looked at each other.

"Uh… we have a lot of factories." Boris answered.

"But what do you produce?"

"Um, we're not entirely sure…"

"Okay then, a factory will have to do!"

Lim's eyes widened. "Wait are you serious?!"

So then the tributes were promptly dressed as factories. They all wore factory pipes with fake smoke on their heads. However, neither twin cared much about clothing though, so they weren't particularly thrilled. As they lined up for the interview, Boris made eye contact with Lim and waved. He didn't wave back.

"r00d" She muttered.

When it was their turn to go up, Morris and Boris took a deep breath and made their way to the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the District 9 twins!" Caesar's voice rang out across the audience's cheers.

Morris and Boris sat on the large chair and smiled at the audience.

"So, Morris," Caesar said when the noise had died down. "How do you feel about being forced into the Games?"

"Of course, it's unfortunate but I can't leave my sister out there on her own. She'd die without me!"

The audience laughed.

"Um… that wasn't supposed to be funny…" Moris awkwardly trailed off.

"What do you have to say to that, Boris?" Caesar said.

"I'm the better fighter." Boris said after a pause. Caesar laughed uproariously.

"So I'm guessing that an alliance is to be formed between the two of you?" he joked.

Boris kept a straight face. "No. We will treat each other as we treat everyone else."

After their interview, it was Lim's turn.

"How do you feel about being reaped even though, as you claimed, there were already two tributes?"

Lim grit his teeth. "It's unfair. I should have not been reaped. The whole system is-" he cut himself off before he said anything rebellious. "...not my cup of tea…"

Caesar patted him on the hand. "Of course, after hearing of the mistake you must have been even more distraught."

Lim froze. "What mistake?"

"Oh dear, he doesn't know!"

"Oooooh" the audience oohed.

"Tell me. Tell me the mistake!"

"Alright, alright." Caesar turned to the audience. "During the reaping when Lim Youngwood was reaped, there was an error."

A silence fell over the crowd, even though they already knew what Caesar was going to say.

"The boy reaped was in fact not Lim Youngwood, but another boy named Limyoung Wood. So you see, Lim, you were wrongly reaped."

Lim slowly rose from his chair. "WHAT?!"

"Unfortunately, my boy, it's too late now to change anything and find Limyoung."

That was when Lim lost it completely. He kicked the chair and dived on top of Caesar, trying to strangle him. Peacekeepers pranced onto the stage.

"Oh, way to go, idiot." Morris ranted from the other room as she watched what was happening from the TV. "There goes 1 potential sponsor."

The Peacekeepers grabbed Lim by the arms while threatening to hit him with their baguettes. They then carried him away backstage. Meanwhile, Caesar awkwardly got off the ground and that was when the entire audience gasped because there, right in front of him, was the host's iconic blue wig.

"Eep!" he screamed before placing it backwards on his head in a rush. Caesar awkwardly composed himself before saying, "Well that was a hairy situation, heheheh."

No one laughed.

* * *

Backstage in the Green Room...

"YOU RAT!" Boris yelled at Lim.

"HE DESERVED IT!" the furious boy countered. Moris and Boris simply slapped him at the same time with their arm.

"Don't make us give you another spanking!" Moris growled.

Aleisha spoke up before the fight got worse, "Yah I won't lie but Lim, but by attacking Caesar publicly you basically ruined both yours AND Boris' chance of surviving."

"And mine too!" Moris added.

"You're not a tribute…" Aleisha said.

"Yes I am!"  
"You didn't get reaped so it doesn't count."

Morris decided from this point that she hated Aleisha.

"But did you hear what he said?! Some guy with the weird name of Limyoung got reaped! Not me!"

"Lol I can't believe you were dumb enough to think that you were called." Boris said.

Lim simply glared at her.

"Well you're here now." Pea said. "There's nothing you can do except do your best to win."

Everyone stared at him.

"That… was probably the sanest thing you've said so far." Moris said quite surprised.

"That reminds me, did you know frogs are not always green? And that makes it hard because I'm left handed, except Ikea is easy to get lost in. So make sure you keep a curtain on you at all times. Also, it's impossible to eat a pizza if you don't have a pizza." Pea took a deep breath. "Which is why you should respect your mentors."

"That made zero sense," Boris ranted. "You guys are the worst mentors ever!"

Aleisha angrily blinked at her.

"Uh, helloooo?" Lim interjected. "What about the fact that I'M ACTUALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG?!"

"Cool it, mate." Persuliosianio joined the conversation.

Lim groaned. "I just remembered something. The Games are on tomorrow."

The twins looked at each other anxiously.

Lim continued, "And you know what else I remember? That our mentors have told us absolutely no advice!"

"That is very true," Boris glared at the mentors.

"Okay you want some advice?" Pea said as he wriggled his monobrow. "Then here you go."

 **Advice #1**

If you are thirsty make sure to drink water.

 **Advice #2**

If you don't have water, you need to find it.

 **Advice #3**

If you're hungry and have no food, just close your eyes and imagine that you're eating a scrumptious cake. Then you'll feel better. Always works for me.

 **Advice #4**

Make sure that your shoelaces are tied! We wouldn't want you to trip now would we?

"And the final most important piece of advice that you MUST know is…"

 **Advice #5**

Make sure you don't die.

Pea beamed at the tributes. "Those are my top advices that I can give that i am sure will help you win." Aleisha blinked in agreement.

However, Lim started twitching his eye unconsciously as he grew redder and redder in fury. "WHO HIRED YOU TWO?!" He screamed before banging his head against a wall and became unconscious by accident.

Moris and Boris glared at their 'mentors'.

"Is this a joke? Or do you actually want us to die?" said Boris with lots of spite in her voice.

Before Pea or Aleisha could respond, Moris replied: "I think it's obvious that they don't want us to live."

"Ugghhghgh, say it don't spray it." the escort murmured as he wiped his face.

The siamese twins got up in anger and went back to their rooms. There was a massive awkward silence in the living room.

"I thought that was pretty good advice." Persuiolianio sincerely said with his accent once again making it hard to understand what he was saying.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next morning was the day of the hunger games. The three tributes were in the waiting room about to go into the games.

"Aren't you excited?!" Pea ranted to Aleisha. She blinked excitedly.

"No," Lim said, in a strangely calm voice. "I am NOT."

"WHAT IF WE GET OUR PERIODS?!" Morris screeched.

"What do you mean we? I'm a guy!" Lim frowned.

"Look, guys. I feel like we're really close so I have a confession to make." Pea cleared his throat. "I actually drew this monobrow on. It's fake."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Thanks for sharing that." Boris sighed.

"Yeah, THANKS A LOT FOR NOTHING, OLD MAN." Lim yelled.

"Ooh would you look at the time! Time to go in!" Persuliosianio chirped while patting Pea's arm in a comforting manner. He forced the twins into their tube, and then tried to stuff Lim in as well.

"I'M SUPPOSED TO GO IN A SEPARATE TUBE!" Lim screamed. Unfortunately the door closed on his big nose with a thud.

"OW! that scared me!" Boris moaned.

The tube began to rise. The tributes tried to get into better positions as Persuliosianio, Pea and Aleisha disappeared beneath them.

The three people surfaced to the arena and the first thing they noticed was that the Cornucopia was in the centre of a ruined, desolate city. Lim tightly hugged the twins to prevent himself from falling off the podium.

"Get off me!" Moris fumed.

The rest of the tributes stared at the sight. The careers noticed them from their own podiums and began to laugh.

"It's the famous district nine tributes!" One gasped in between their laughter.

"Hey Lim! Or should I say _Limyoung_!"

"SHUT UP!" Lim screamed at them. "YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF-"

Suddenly the countdown began.

 _10\. 9._

"-BRATTED-"

 _8\. 7._

"SPATTED-"

 _6\. 5._

"FATTED"

 _4\. 3._

"SHRIVELLED PRUNES!" Lim finished

 _2._

"Hang on, do we get off when it reaches 1 or 0?" Boris asked.

 _1._

The horn sounded and all the tributes ran towards the resources.

"SO LONG SUCKERS. I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU ANNOYING TWINS EVER AGAIN!" Lim ranted as he sped off. Surprisingly, he was quite fast. He sprinted ahead of the twins and didn't look back.

Moris and Boris started running, but they tripped and face planted into the ground. This turned out to be good, though, because one of the careers had just thrown a knife at them and it had missed due to this and hit another tribute in their face instead.

"What the even heck?!" Moris screamed at the male career who had thrown the weapon. Her voice startled him and he fell over into a pile of rubble and stabbed himself with a bit of broken glass. A canon promptly went off scaring the girls, especially Moris.

"Moris, I'm so scared. We've gotta get out of here!" Boris cried. In the corner of her eye she saw Lim grabbing a bag and ducking, then sprinting off into a ruined building. However, Moris seemed to be paralysed with fear.

"We need to go now!" Boris screamed at her twin who finally seemed to get a hold of herself.

"Y-yeah, let's just go."

The Siamese Twins picked themselves up from the ground and turned to leave the Bloodbath as everybody else fought for at least a bag and a weapon.

The twins continued to gallop further into the ruined city before finally ducking into a building. They were safe from the Bloodbath for now but could still make out the horrid sounds of screaming accompanied by occasional canons of death. Boris and Moris ran up to the second floor where the roof and part of a wall were missing. They sat against a complete wall to catch their breath for a full minute.

"Oh great," Boris moaned.

"What?"

"We forgot to take a bag!"

Moris' eye twitched as she puffed her nostrils.

"Are you kidding me!"

The girls groaned in anger.

"Do you think we can go back?" Morris suggested

"No way, the careers have probably taken over the Corn by now." Boris thought for a bit. "at least we have Pea's advice..?"

"You're kidding, right..?" Moris disapprovingly spat out. Then she cried. "Oh no I just spat out all the water I had left in my system."

"Yeah I'm pretty thirsty too." Boris contemplated. "How are we gonna get water?"

"Do you think we'll be able to quench our thirst if we just kept a mouthful of water in our mouths for like 1 minute and spat it out, then repeated that everytime we're thirsty?" Moris suggested.

"EW WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Boris screeched.

Morris started to cry more.

"Geez what's gotten into you?" Boris asked.

"I'm trying to collect my tears so I can drink them!"

"SALTY WATER MAKES IT WORSE, IDIOT"

Morris was stunned into silence.

"I'm going to die with the world's biggest idiot." Boris inaudibly whispered with great sadness.

Just as Boris was about to die of grief, suddenly they heard footsteps and yelling right outside their hideout. The two twins peered out of a small window in sync to see who the threat was. And there, right before their eyes, was a pair of siamese triplets about to be killed!

"What the heck?" Morris frowned. "HOW COME WE NEVER NOTICED THEM BEFORE?!"

"Because the authors only just thought of it? Don't ask me." Boris shrugged.

"HOW ARE SIAMESE TRIPLETS EVEN ALIVE? WHAT DISTRICT ARE THEY FROM?" Morris kept at it.

The triplets, co-joined by their hair, look up. "We're from districts 5, 7 and 8."

"Wait how is that possible?" But they couldn't reply to Boris because they were surrounded by 3 Careers. One of the careers, brandishing purple hair tickled them with a feather until they laughed so much that they fell unconscious.

"I knew this would come in handy!" the career villainously pulled out a goose from her back, to which her allies just rolled their eyes. She turned to the twins who had come down the building in an attempt to rescue their fellow siamese community.

"You're next!" She cackled and threateningly waved the goose at them.

"Wait, Floyd Sprinkles, why don't we just kill them with swords and stuff?" One of the Careers said. "Like NORMAL people?!"

"BECAUSE THATS WHAT THE CAREERS ALWAYS DO AND SOMEHOW THEY END UP LOSING TO DISTRCT 12 DIMWITS." Floyd Sprinkles raged.

"Huff," The Career huffed.

While they were busy arguing, the twins slowly snuck away.

"That was close." Boris said. "Phew."

"Not so fast, we're not that stupid!" They heard the careers yell. They froze, but the careers ran off in the opposite direction after the goose that had escaped.

"Woohoo!" Morris cheered.

"Yeah whoop dee doo it's not like we're still DYING OF THIRST OR ANYTHING." Boris screeched in her sister's ear.

"Shut up before the careers come back!" Morris said.

Boris turned to the sky. "Pea, Aleisha," she said. "If you ever had any good in your hearts, if you ever planned to help us at all, please send us water. And food."

"And a bazooka while you're at it!" Morris yelled at the sky. "And a helicopter maybe!"

Back in the Capitol, Aleisha and Pea were staring intently at a TV screen. Aleisha was blinking in uncontrolled excitement and Pea was biting his nails in anticipation so much he had run out of fingernails and was now biting his toenails. Persuliosiano strutted in only to find the two mentors staring at a blank TV.

"Lads, yer supposedta plug the telly,"

"Shhhhhhh" Pea shushed. "This is getting intense."

Persuliosiano began to feel a little bad for the tributes because of their weird mentors. Sure, they were quite odd but it was their life on the line and he knew that if he was in their situation he'd want to be looked after. So Persuliosiano took matters into his own hands.

The twins were resting by some rubble with all hope lost when a package floated down to them. Boris and Morris looked at each other in shock and quickly stood up to catch it. Their hands shook in excitement as they opened it slowly. And Inside was… a note.

 _Sorry but your mentors can't hear you and I'm not allowed to send packages._

 _Persuliosianio._

"WHAT! THEN HOW DID YOU SEND THIS?" Boris screamed. There was no answer.

"Hey elephants!" A voice called. It was a tribute in overalls behind a building. He looked like he was a farmer. "Keep the STINKIN noise down and I'll show you where some water is."

"REALLY WHERE?" Boris screamed. "I mean, really where?"

"Around the side of the building if you guys actually LOOKED instead of bickering and attracting all the careers, you would have found this giant river."

Little did they know, this mystery tribute had poisoned the water with sparkling water.

Morris and Boris galloped to the water source, bent over the river and generously gulped in the impure water.

"UGHDJ UDKI YUCK YUCK GROSS I HATE SPARKLING WATER."

"What an idiot!" Morris spat. "He could've killed us but he just changed the water!"

"SUCKAHS! LOOK WHO'S THE STINKIN' IDIOTS NOW" The mystery tribute's voice floated down towards them from wherever he'd gone. "You're a stinkin' idiot, and you're a stinkin idiot, and that's a stinkin-"

He started to dance an Irish jig in pride when suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant meteorite fell from the sky and crushed him. The cannon promptly went off.

"What the…" the twins muttered before looking up.

The loudspeaker crackled. "Ahem. That tribute was an idiot so we had to remove him from the arena promptly."

Morris raised her eyebrows at Boris. "You better be careful if they're killing idiots."

"OI!" Boris hollered. "ARE YOU CALLING ME AN IDIOT?"

"Look, let's just get out of here and try to gather as many resources as we can."

"Yeah we're still like right next to the corn which the careers have taken over," Boris admitted. "Maybe we are idiots."

The two began to trek further into the arena, with the fresh memories of their encounter with the Careers motivating them. Eventually they stumbled into a random patch of grass which was oddly placed in the vast expanse of dust and rubble. Morris took a cautious step on the patch of grass.

"Ow!" the grass sang.

Suddenly the patch of grass rose up from the earth to reveal… Mr Cat. The two were gobsmacked and began gulping air like fish out of water. Yet little did they know that Mr Cat was a massive game changer. He would turn their hopeless odds into their favour...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Meanwhile Lim trekked through the ruined city. He had managed to grab a backpack from the Corn before sprinting for his life. But he hadn't gotten away completely unharmed. He was wounded emotionally and physically. A tribute had been standing nearby, and as Lim dove for the backpack she yelled out: "it says gullible on the ceiling."

When Lim looked up, she wheezed and doubled over. "You fell for it!" She gasped. "There isn't even a ceiling here!"

Lim grit his teeth. "I hope you fall in a hole." He snarled before running away.

However, he had enraged the girl."You smell funny!" She screamed after him in anger. So that had been an altogether unpleasant experience. And to make things worse, as he ran out of the cornucopia he accidentally stubbed his right toe on a brick.

Lim spent several minutes howling in pain as quietly as he could to avoid attracting attention. However, the stubbed toe was so bad Lim thought his entire right leg was paralysed so he attempted to hop to safety.

Finally, Lim decided that he'd gone far enough. He ducked into an old building and looked inside his backpack. The first thing he pulled out was a hat. It was purple and had colourful pom-poms all over it, with ribbons dangling everywhere. The word _Gullible_ was written in cursive on the front.

"Bah!" Lim threw it aside.

Next he pulled out some tampons.

"Are you serious?!" he chucked that too but then he saved one in case he ever had a nose bleed.

Lim then pulled out a shrivelled prune. It was too ugly to eat so he chucked that out as well.

He looked into the bag again and saw something dark and small. It was a fake spider.

"FINALLY something useful," he thought, thinking he could use it to scare someone to death.

But the bag wasn't empty yet. There was one more item protruding in a hidden pocket underneath the bag. Lim took a deep breath. He hoped - nay, _prayed_ that it was something that could change the odds of his survival in this cruel twisted game. He slowly zipped the pocket in anticipation and closed his eyes as he pulled out the final item. He opened one eye. Alas! There, gleaming in the artificial sunlight of the arena was… a flat 2D straight line? Lim was so confused.

"What the heck…" he began to shake it trying to figure out its purpose to no avail. Then he waved it around, chanted curses, pointed it at things before slapping it onto his face in frustration. But there it stayed resting right above his eyes. He knew then, its true purpose.

"Is.. IS THIS PEA'S MONOBROW?"

Far away, in the Capitol, Pea's eyes shot open and he sat up from the floor where he was asleep.

"Did Lim just say he had my monobrow!?" He bellowed. Aleisha, who was lying on the ceiling, blinked in confirmation.

Pea rushed to the TV which had been plugged in because Persuliosianio was watching the Games. There it was, a close up of Lim's face, with his - _his -_ monobrow shining in its full glory.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING, HOW DO I GET IT OFF?" Lim's screech could be heard from the television. He began tearing at it.

"NO!" Pea howled. "MY BEAUTIFUL LOCKS!"

Pea quickly ran out of the penthouse in search of some sponsors who were foolish enough to help him.

Meanwhile, as Lim frantically attempted to tear at his newfound facial hair he heard a faint beep in the distance.

"Is that..?" he thought but didn't finish his thoughts because he couldn't be bothered.

A parachute suddenly landed a metre in front of him. Injured and weak, Lim hopped on his left leg towards the parachute and gleefully opened it up. At the top was a note scribbled in crayon.

 _Lim, I once was a young boy like you discovering the beauty of facial hair but then my mum got mad at me for not doing the laundry and so I began to do my maths at the Ak-a-demy of Khans which is impossible since I don't have a left foot and so I really need my monobrow. In exchange for the preservation of my beloved beast, I shall provide for your needs. Deal?_

Enclosed in the parachute was a toothbrush and hair gel.

"I'm assuming this is for the 'brow?" Lim said sarcastically.

The monobrow nodded on his forehead.

"Deh? This is so-"

"Unexpected!" A sudden shrill voice finished the sentence for him. Lim whipped his head around and found himself staring up at a tribute with great purple hair. She was accompanied by two other tributes. "Look's like we've founded little Lim! Or should I say, Limyoung!"

 _The Careers!_ Lim thought anxiously.

She closed her eyes and began reciting a monologue.

"Allow me to introduce myself before your death. I am Sprinkles of the Floyd. Floyd Sprinkles if you will. I was born and raised in the province of District 1, a land of lush-"

She opened her eyes then and backed away violently when she saw his face.

"WHAT IS THAT ANIMAL ON YOUR FACE?!" She screamed, spittle flying everywhere.

"YUCK say it don't spray it." Career 2 said.

"Watch it foghorn!" Career 3 said in sync.

At that intrusion, Lim with his horribly disfigured leg decided that the odds would be better if he ran away so he attempted to hop off into the sunset.

However, suddenly Floyd lunged for him and tackled him to the ground. She ripped the monobrow off and slapped it onto Lim's face - an act deemed the most violent thing that has happened in the Games so far by the Gamemakers. It cried at being handled so inhumanely while Pea died a little in the Capitol.

"Nuh-uh! Where do ya think you're going?" Floyd spat in his face. "You seem to be well-liked by all the tributes. I think we could use this to our advantage, right boys?" She looked at her useless Career allies who were still standing in the same spot and so were 10 metres away.

She huffed. "Tie him up and let's go."

As the two bound Lim's arms and legs and carried him like a hobo sack, Floyd looked at the things he'd discarded on the ground. She gathered them all up and put them in the backpack.

"Oh thank FLAT for a tampon." Then she saw the hat and had an idea. She plonked it onto Lim's head.

"Oi!" He squealed.

"Haha." They waddled back to the cornucopia, which was hidden in the heart of the rubble and remains of abandoned buildings.

* * *

"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mr Cat! What're you doing here?"

Mr Cat ignored them and started walking past them quickly. When he was almost out of their peripheral vision, he quickly spoke.

"None of your business."

The twins had no time to reply because he was already gone.

"What the heck?" Boris muttered as they turned around. Mr Cat was sitting behind them licking his paw.

"Can you help us or not?"

"You're so pathetic that you need help from a cat? You great big lump of useless existence."

"Which one of us are you talking to?" Morris questioned.

Mr Cat blinked lazily. "Both."

"Oh."

Mr Cat then promptly walked off further into the ruins. Boris and MOris just stood there, unsure of what to do.

"Well?" the feline turned around. "Are you going to follow me or will I have to throw a conniption?"

Boris and Moris looked at each other and hurried after their pet.

Suddenly they heard voices and ran into the careers again.

"POOP!" Boris opera-sang.

Floyd starting laughing uncontrollably. "You said poop!" She gasped. Then she noticed no one else was laughing so she cleared her throat. Morris and Boris noticed that Lim was with them, tied up and gagged. He was limping.

"Well well well, if it isnt the twins again." Floyd smirked.

Morris glanced at Mr Cat anxiously. "Mr Cat! Help us!"

Mr Cat shrugged.

"HOW DO CATS EVEN SHRUG?" Morris ranted. Mr Cat shrugged again.

"You know what else I can do?" He purred. He stood up on his hind legs and clicked his fingers while bending his knee.

"Get some of this." He sang in a low voice. "You like jazz?"

"THAT IS THE MOST INHUMAN THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!" Boris screamed.

"Well what did you expect? I'm not a human, I'm a cat you idiot."

"GET RID OF IT!" Boris screeched frantically. The twins quickly jumped forward and kicked Mr Cat across the arena. Everyone within a 100km radius sighed with relief.

While Boris was distracted, Floyd suddenly grabbed Boris by the ear.

"You. Join me in an alliance. Together, we can take down Moris."

Boris was taken aback by this. "Wha? Why would I do such a thing? You're a career, you're a ruthless killer. I'm _nothing_ like you!"

"Because… she told me she thought she was the better siamese twin."

Boris was heartbroken. She already knew that Moris thought that of her but the fact that she said it on _live television_ in front of her entire district made her angry. Very angry. Her despair was soon replaced with fury.

However, little did Boris know of Floyd's diabolic masterplan which was basically that she couldn't be bothered to kill them herself so she used the power of her words. In fact, that's what she did for the training. Using her tricky words she told the game makers she was 18 years old when she was actually 15! They totally fell for it!

"I could help you, you know." Floyd held out her pinky. "All you need to do is pinky-swear yourself into the alliance. Whaddaya say?"

Boris stared intently at the pinky for a good minute. "You cut your nails weirdly. But I'll do it."

She shook the pinky.

"AHEM, I'm _RIGHT HERE_ BORIS." Moris yodelled.

"TOO LATE!" Floyd shrieked. "MWAHAHAHAHA! YOU ALREADY PINKY SWORE!"

Moris growled but suddenly stopped as Floyd and her Careers brandished their swords. Floyd chucked a small plastic knife at Boris.

"What is this?" Boris asked confused.

"You need to earn my trust before I'll loan you a weapon." Floyd explained while Moris started shaking in terror at the knife. She was terrified of plastic. "You know what you have to do."

Boris eyed Moris - her very sister that shared the same blood as her. Literally! But no amount of kinship could ever sustain her loyalty. Boris held up the knife.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck the ground metres from where the twins, careers and Floyd were. The arena suddenly burst into flames and there was screaming and terror and fear - oh the icy fear! Then suddenly, everything was dark. Absolutely dark.

But then Boris opened her eyes and so there was a pair of white circles hovering in the dark like in the cartoons.


	6. Chapter 6

Up in the Capitol somewhere at the gamemaker centre, it was chaos.

"Wait what?"

"What's happening?!"

"Who turned out the lights?"

"SHUT UP!" a shrill high-pitched voice suddenly pierced the room. "SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON."

The room went quiet. Everyone was terrified of Pointy, the rather flat-headed head gamemaker with the hot temper.

"Uh… th- there's been a problem with the, uh, power system. Sir. The power has deactivated in the Arena and there's no electricity." said an unimportant side character who's actually more of an extra for exposition purposes.

Pointy the head game maker's nose began to flare up and his face began to turn red. "BAHA is that all?"

"Uh…"

"I'm going back to bed."

"Sir if the electricity's down, then the tributes could escape!"

Pointy thought this through for a long time but halfway through he got bored and fell asleep, standing up.

"Mr Pointy?"

Suddenly the assistant head game maker spoke up in annoyance. "Forget this guy! Just tell the tributes we did it on purpose."

Boris lay on the ground for a second.

"AHEM," the loudspeaker crackled to life. "WE UH, DECIDED TO MAKE IT A NIGHT TIME CHALLENGE. THIS TOTALLY ISN'T A MALFUNCTION. Yeah… Oh and FLOYDILOVEYOUYOU'REMYFAVOURITETRIBUTEEVERBYE!"

Then it was silent.

"Stupid phone!" A voice screamed - Lim's voice.

"Lim?" She called weakly. He came into focus, standing meters away. Morris was still unconscious. The screen light illuminated his face eerily; the only source of light in the arena.

"Wait…" Boris squinted. "What is that on your face?" There was a strange, disgusting looking bushy horizontal line above Lim's eyes.

"I HATE THE STUPID WIFI IN THIS STUPID PLACE!" Lim ranted, ignoring her. "IT WONT EVEN LOAD TINDER."

"You're on tinder?"

"Um no I meant tumblr."

"Riiiightt." Boris said, then whispered. "You'll never get anyone to swipe right with that overgrown slug on your face."

Lim turned to the sky. "WHY ARE YOU TORTURING US?!"

"Shut up!" Boris had a headache. "First world problems!"

Lim looked at the direction Boris' voice was coming from. "Not having internet is a third world problem."

Boris blinked. "What? Some third world countries don't even have internet?"

"Exactly, third world problem."

"That's not how first world problems work!"

"That's why it's a third world problem."

"Aren't you supposed to be captured?" Boris suggested.

"Oh yeah…" Lim dropped the phone and proceeded to tie himself up. The phone screen shattered on the ground and plunged Boris' surroundings back into darkness.

"Oi get up Moris." Boris said to her sister. There was silence before Morris stirred.

"You think I'm going to trust you?" Came Morris's cold voice.

"?" Boris questioned.

"You were going to betray me!" Morris ranted.

"Moris, I-I-I wasn't really going to…"

"Oh sure you weren't! You pinky swore!"

"Moris, I-"

"AND STOP CALLING ME MORIS!" Morris screamed. "IT'S MORRIS! WITH TWO R'S."

"You beg my pardon? Well excuse _you_ for being so rude," Boris said sarcastically. "Moriss."

Morris screamed.

"Oh sorry Morus, did that offend you?" Boris gloated.

"SHUT UP!"

"Mohras."

"HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I CALLED YOU BORRISS?"

"Mjorijss."

"Bore-is."

"MMNERUSS."

"BAHRAST."

"MNENENEME!"

"BLUERGHBLEGH!"

Suddenly they were interrupted by a ear-piercing groan. "Ahhhh! My guts! My guts! They're- they're spilling out!" a male voice called out into the darkness. The twins couldn't see who it was but it sounded like one of the Careers that were allied with Floyd.

"Did I just kill Mymom?" a familiar voice muttered to herself - Floyd's voice. The thump of a body and the boom of the cannon echoed in response. "Dang it."

Again the conjoined twins heard the sharp sound of poking and a scream in response. "You idiot! I'm on your side! It's..."

Before he could finish, the poor victim fell to the floor and died. The cannon boomed.

"Dang it." Floyd muttered again.

"Quick! She's trying to take advantage of the dark and kill us!" Morris quietly spat into her sister's ear.

"Idiot, how could she have not located us from when we were yelling like 15 lines ago?" Boris spat back.

"Maybe because her siamese twin keeps spitting in her ear which is affecting her hearing!" Morris fumed. "Look, we gotta quickly get out of here while it's still dark."

The twins began to run away as stealthily as they could as they heard Floyd's footsteps shuffle in the darkness behind them. After a reasonable distance away, Boris spoke up. "Wait what about Lim?"

"Who."

"We can't just leave him there, Floyd's captured him." The girl replied.

"Boris, this isn't Friendship Games, nor is it Teamwork Games. This is the oddly named Hunger Games which is Australian for 'every man for themselves'."

Boris sighed. "Yeah you're right."

"Besides," Morris said. "Even if we do form an alliance, we'll have to kill him if we wanna live."

Suddenly Boris had a thought. "Wait, what happens when it comes down to the two of us?"

"We'll flip a coin." Morris fingered a coin, which was her token from home, in her pocket. Little did Boris know it was a double-headed coin.


	7. Chapter 7

Morris and Boris skipped through the ruined city.

"I hate skipping." Boris said.

"Me too." Moris said.

"Then why are we skipping?"

"Well because the narrator is making us, that's why!" Morris huffed.

"Wait a second, how come we can suddenly see? Wasn't it pitch black last chapter? How do we have enough confidence to be SKIPPING THROUGH THE CITY shouldn't we be crawling and feeling our way around? How come-"

"Oh my god, shut UP," Morris pulled at her hair. "Obviously the narrator is an idiot and is super inconsistent-"

Morris slapped herself in the face.

"OW!" She screamed like a dying walrus. "That hurt, narrator! And I did NOT sound like a dying walrus!"

"That's what happens when you insult the narrator, Morris." Boris said wisely.

"This is so stupid, we have no control over our actions!" Morris yelled angrily. "Everything is predestined for us!"

"That's just the way things are for book characters, Morris, and if I were you I'd be careful or you might suffer a more serious injury next time."

"Why are you defending the narrator?" Moris turned to her twin. "Wait… is the narrator speaking through you?"

"Technically the narrator is speaking through all the characters. Our entire existence is a construct."

"Okay this is hurting my head and the readers' heads." Morris turned to the sky. "Narrator, can you at least give us SOME choice?"

The sky didn't respond.

 _ **If you choose to keep screaming at the narrator, go to 1.**_

 _ **If you choose to grow up, move on and keep moving, go to 2.**_

 **1**

"Oh my god, the narrator gave us some choice!" Morris said surprised. She turned to the sky again. "Damn right, narrator! Keep doing that, you hear me? KEEP DOING THAT. OR ELSE."

"MORRIS SHUT UP BEFORE YOU LOSE US THIS OPPORTUNITY." Boris yanked her sister away and they kept moving.

 _Go to 3._

 **2**

"Wow!" Moris beamed. "The narrator actually gave us some choice! Thanks narrator, I can't believe I thought you were a jerk. You're actually not bad."

"Are you done sucking up to the narrator?" Boris cut in. "Because we have to keep moving."

 _Go to 3._

 **3**

The twins kept moving through the city.

"Wait, what's the point of choices if we're just gonna end up with the same result-" Moris pondered.

"Shh…" Boris suddenly cut in.

"What?" When Boris didn't reply, Moris yelled again. "WHAT?!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME LISTEN."

The twins shut their holes and listened hard.

"Oh. Em. Gee." Boris muttered. "Run."

"?" Moris questioned.

"RUN!"

 **If you choose to run go to 4. If you choose to continue to be an idiot go to 5.**

 **4**

Listening to her sister's instincts, Moris began to run with her sister.

 **Go to 6**

 **5**

"WHAT R WE RUNNING FROM?!"

Boris didn't answer and yanked moris' hair.

 **Go to 6**

 **6**

"UP THAT TREE NOW!"

With great difficulty the Siamese twins clambered up a moderate sized tree.

And just in time, for at that moment a horde of blurry masses sped around the corner and shot towards the tree.

"Mutts!" Boris screamed and they scrambled further up the tree. The beasts resembled some kind of huge feline, with pointy ears, sleek bodies and long faces with sharp teeth. The skin on their faces was stretched like badly done plastic surgery, so that their eyes seemed to be popping out of their skulls. Moris started to scream but was cut off when the creatures began yowling, so Boris considerately finished the scream for her.

"Nah, they can't get us up on this tree." Moris said, dangling a cat toy down to taunt them.

"IDIOT CATS CAN CLIIIIIIIMMMBBBB-" Boris was cut off by one of the beasts launching itself at the tree and shooting up it like a bullet. Before the twins could move, they felt hot teeth on their skin and heard an enormous ripping sound from in between them. Boris squeezed her eyes shut and clutched Morris's equally tense body with all the strength she could muster. Her ears were ringing and she could feel warmth and numbness spreading on the side of her body joined to Morris. This was it. The beasts had separated them, literally torn them apart. She was in shock now but the pain would scream itself into existence any moment.

"Get up."

Boris opened her eyes and saw a cat lounging on a branch above her head.

"Mr Cat!" She yipped. At this, Morris also opened her eyes and stared at their pet.

"Thank goodness you're here!" Boris continued. "Now tell us what to do."

"Not so fast." Mr Cat sounded slightly annoyed, the angriest the twins had ever seen him. Because he was a cat and should have been incapable of human emotion. "Did you forget that you kicked me halfway across the arena?"

Boris gave him an apologetic look. "Yeah… sorry about that."

Mr Cat stood up and stretched. Then he sharpened his claws on the tree branch. Then he yawned. Then he licked his paw thrice. Then he -

"Alright we get it!" Morris screamed. "We're sorry, really. But please, no more Bee Movie references."

Mr Cat blinked lazily. "No promises." He jumped gracefully down from the tree and began walking away, his tail in the air.

"Wait a second," Morris blinked. "Where did all those weird cat beasts go?"

"WAIT!" Boris jerked. She looked down at themselves. "We're not cut in half!"

"Of course you aren't, you blithering buffoons." Mr Cat's voice carried down from down below. "It was only your pants that ripped."

Morrris and Boris looked at each other. They felt like idiots.

"Are you going to follow me or are you going to wait for those hideous abominations and disgraces to the feline race to show up again?"

"Wait you got rid of them?" Morris puzzled.

"Why are you trying to help us?" Boris asked suspiciously.

"'Thank you Mr Cat!' 'You're so kind, Mr Cat!' 'We love you Mr Cat because you were our childhood pet.' No, all they do is complain like simpletons." Mr Cat sarcastically ranted to himself. "Are you coming or not?!"

 **If you stay in the tree, pick 7. If you ignore Mr Cat and leave, pick 8. If you follow Mr Cat, choose 9.**

 **7**

"Let's stay in the tree." Said Boris.

They stayed up there even though it is the absolute stupidest option. Night came. Night went. Days past. The Hunger Games finished. District 14 won. The President was overthrown and the world grew into a peaceful place where nobody screamed and nobody was stupid and certainly nobody ever broke the fourth wall. All was well.

"Hey this option wasn't that stupid." Said Morris.

"Yeah I mean the world is like a utopia right now!" Boris cheered. As they adjusted their position in the tree, the arena exploded. Turns out everyone forgot about the arenas until then and then they were like "Better blow this up as a symbol of a new way of life!"

Morris and Boris died. Mr Cat was never seen again.

 **8**

The twins got down from the tree.

"I say we ignore him," Morris whispered in her sister's ear.

"I heard that." Mr Cat called as he got further and further away. "I am a cat. I have better hearing than you walking sacks of deaf stupidity."

"Then start acting like a cat, you freak!" Boris yelled. Mr Cat ignored them and disappeared behind some rubble. The twins turned their backs on him. They never saw him again.

The end because this story sucks without Mr Cat.

 **9**

The good option! YAy we love Mr Cat here at HQ.

"You can't refer to yourself as 'HQ'," Morris muttered as the twins climbed down the tree with difficulty. "It makes the readers think you're actually legit."

"What readers?" Boris said. There was silence as the twins looked at each other.

"BURN!" Morris screeched. They high fived.

Ouch. That hurts.

"Wait is it a burn to the author if it's _us_ that no one cares about?" Boris began.

"Shut up, Boris, you know nothing." Morris waved her hand dismissively. "Where'd Mr Cat go?"

The twins awkwardly did that half jog, half walk thing until they reached Mr Cat. Mr Cat sighed.

"I was hoping you'd pick another option so I wouldn't have to deal with you."

"Well we don't have much choice when the other options are both under ten lines long." Boris snapped.

As they trudged along behind Mr Cat, wary of any mutts or tributes, Morris had an enlightening thought.

"Wait, so since our pants ripped," she started. "are we not wearing any..?"

"In case you haven't noticed, this is fiction." Mr Cat said without turning around. "As long as you don't mention something, you can just hope that the readers forget about it and keep imagining you with pants on."

"Woah that's actually smart." Morris said.

"Life hack!" Boris yelled.

"Too bad you already brought it up." Mr Cat muttered.

"Wait so can I just do this?" Boris grabbed a machine gun out of her pocket. Her eyes grew wide. "Wow!"

"Wait what?" Morris questioned. "Since when did you have a machine gun in your pocket?"

"Dammit Morris!" Boris yelled. The gun disappeared. "You brought it to the attention of the readers!"

"You can't just do that, it has to be something subtle, IDIOT." Mr Cat said quietly. "Of course the readers would notice that."

Morris had had enough. She stopped walking and stomped her foot. "ENOUGH!" She screamed. "Can we _please_ stop breaking the bloody fourth wall? It's so damn confusing and nobody cares!"

Boris and Mr Cat were silent for a few seconds.

"Fine, sheesh." Boris said. Mr Cat ignored them both.

"Yeah," a voice from the clouds said. "You didn't used to do it at all, but then it started and it's been really random."

"Who was that?" Morris looked around.

"The readers." Boris said.

"Sweet brocolli," Morris face palmed. "Wait a second so we _do_ have readers?"

"Stop bickering and keep up." Mr Cat said.

"One more thing…" Boris interrupted. "You spelt 'broccoli' wrong."

"ARGH!"

The three bickersons continued to traverse through the ruined city.

~MEANWHILE~

Right after Lim shattered the phone screen and quickly tied himself up, he found himself back onto the ground. Truthfully, he was afraid of the dark and always anticipated something horrific. And so, paralysed in fear, he stayed where he was. Unfortunately, that came at the cost of hearing the twins argue.

"AND STOP CALLING ME MORIS! IT'S MORRIS, WITH TWO Rs!"

Lim rolled his eyes. He found it _very_ stupid that Boris didn't even know how to spell her own sister's name. As the arguing became climatic, Lim began to reflect and regret everything that happened up to this point: Why was he picked despite complications? Why did he have to be paired up with the Siamese twins of all people? Why did he always end up crossing paths with Boris and Morris despite trying to get away from them? Why would anybody name their kid Limyoung Wood?

Lim was fuming and lost in his thoughts when he suddenly heard an ear-piercing scream metres away from his position.

It was quickly followed by a "Dang it!" from a familiar voice.

"Floyd." he breathed.

Rather than taking this opportunity to strike her down, he decided to wriggle away to sweet, sweet freedom. Still tied up, he pushed forward with his shoulders and knees hoping - nay, praying - that that would be the last time he'd ever see those people again. Just when he thought he'd left them, he heard the devil's voice.

"Maybe because her siamese twin keeps spitting in her ear which is affecting her hearing!" Morris screeched.

"Are you KIDDING me?!" he mouthed to himself. Lim was about to turn right when he heard what Boris said next.

"Wait what about LIm?" she said.

"Who." Moris replied.

"We can't just leave him there, Floyd's captured him."

"Boris, this isn't Friendship Games, nor is it Teamwork Games. This is the oddly named Hunger Games which is Australian for 'every man for themselves'."

Boris sighed. "Yeah you're right."

"Besides, even if we do form an alliance, we'll have to kill him if we wanna live."

Lim lay on the ground with his mouth gaping like a fish out of water. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He replayed the conversation again in his head.

" _What about Lim?"_

" _Who."_

Lim began to cry. "Morris didn't know who I was…? After _everything_ we went through?"

The boy's sobs began to be hysterical. "How could she?!"

Eventually his sadness morphed into blind but totally rational anger. Enraged that his name was forgotten by the siamese fools, he vowed then and there to hunt them down.

"I'll kill them," he gritted his teeth. "I'll kill them all."

Lim found a pair of scissors nearby and cut his ropes loose. He then began to track the twins down.


End file.
